oldsanjuan:

robin thicke looks like that semi-wealthy guy who lives on the end of your street and always asks you how school’s going and if your sister’s 18 yet

(Source: allisonlaheyy, via yogourt)

sebastianthedog:

one night two parents went out for dinner

a few hours later the baby sitter called and asked if she could cover up the clown statue in the kids room

the dad told her to get out of the house and call the police and that they didnt have a clown statue

when the police got there it turned out they did have a clown statue and the dad had alzheimers

(Source: barapuppy, via calculaterhater)

doglets:

If you are the older twin, call your little sibling a few times a day and be like “when I was your age” and then describe what you did 7 minutes ago

(via sluttyoliveoil)